Serenity Mayhem
by FormicaryCrane
Summary: Gundams, among others, are invited to an insane tournament dedicated to boredom. Weird things happen. Also for DBZ and Bebop fans. This is my first fanfic so tell me what you think.


1 Serenity Mayhem  
  
2 -JRC  
  
3 Part I-Phone Tag  
  
4 Ring-ng  
  
"I'll get it!" Trowa and Duo both leapt from their seats around the breakfast table.  
  
A sizzling blast shot through the air, annihilating the phone and sending fragments of Goten's plastic likeness scattering.  
  
"It can never be! Fwa ha ha ha ha!" Quatre yelled, wild-eyed and gesticulating madly with his blaster.  
  
"You lunatic, that could have been a fan of mine!" Duo roared at Quatre, picking up a chair and holding it over his head.  
  
"Stop this foolishness, both of you!" Trowa stepped between the frothing pilots.  
  
4.1 Fwrap-p  
  
"You just blew off Trowa's arm! What are you trying to pull?" Duo shouted, still with his chair over his head but backing away.  
  
"Don't worry about me, I can regenerate as long as my head isn't damaged," Trowa exclaimed confidently.  
  
Duo looked at him, "No you can't. Only Piccolo can do that!"  
  
"Are you quite sure?"  
  
"Last time I checked," Duo replied.  
  
Trowa's expression became pensive and glossy. "I'm going to walk down to the medical ward now."  
  
Ring-ng  
  
"What?" Quatre exclaimed mortified.  
  
"Ha, it's the upstairs phone!" He shot a challenging look to Quatre, "Race 'ya."  
  
"Don't worry guys, I'll be fine, I'll be much more than fine." Trowa confided to the empty kitchen.  
  
Duo and Quatre had been chasing the tawny collie with the cordless phone in its mouth for forty minutes and yet the phone was still ringing. Whoever was calling must really want to talk to the Gundam pilots.  
  
"Give it here, Fidgettoy. That's a good dog," Quatre coaxed, attempting to pursue the dog but unable to crawl under Heero's dresser.  
  
Ring-ng  
  
"What are you doing in my room?" A commanding voice from behind demanded.  
  
"Oh, Heero," Quatre sputtered, "You know, the dog wanted to go for a walk and…"  
  
"It doesn't look like it wants to go for a walk," Heero said coolly but acutely aware of the short-range blaster in Quatre's hand.  
  
"You… you're just as much a part of this as the rest of them!" Quatre lunged madly, but before he could aim his blaster Duo had entered and grabbed him from behind.  
  
Ring-ng  
  
Surprisingly, it took quite a bit of effort to restrain Quatre. When Heero and Duo had finished, Quatre was duct-taped to the ceiling fan, which Duo and Heero generously decided to set on 'medium' instead of 'high.'  
  
"He does this every once in a while. After a few minutes of that he'll be back to his normal self," Duo assured Heero.  
  
"Maybe," Heero thought, "but let's leave him up there for the next three hours just to be certain."  
  
"That's mean! You're just want to watch the teletubbies marathon!" Duo shouted.  
  
Ring-ng  
  
Heero ducked the confrontation. "Don't you have a phone to answer?"  
  
"The phone!" Duo exclaimed, diving for the collie.  
  
Fortunately, Fidgettoy chose to discard the phone in favor of the more appealing braid that extended from Duo's head.  
  
"Archh! Stupid dog!" Duo exclaimed, tossing the collie off of his hair and picking up the phone.  
  
"Hello?" Duo answered the phone.  
  
"This is Duo?" The voice with the golden eyes asked.  
  
"Yeah… this is him, what do you want?" Duo answered cautiously.  
  
"I am stronger than you." The voice replied.  
  
"Who are you?" Duo lost the tact from his voice.  
  
"Meet us Duo. You and Heero. We want to show you how strong we are." The voice responded.  
  
"What are you talking about?" Duo was becoming enraged.  
  
"We're bored. We want to crush you."  
  
"The strongest people are the true threats!"  
  
"What? You're crazier than I am. Stay on subject."  
  
"When I find out who this is…"  
  
"Come to Serenity-Mayhem Field."  
  
-click  
  
Part-II Serenity-Mayhem Show Down  
  
"Spirit gun!"  
  
"Ka-me-ha… me-HA!"  
  
"Its time to teach you about the heart of the cards!"  
  
"Digimon, digevolve!"  
  
"So, when do we get to beat you to a disgusting pulp?" Vegeta asked eagerly, grinding his fist in his palm.  
  
"You can try whatever you like as soon as everyone has arrived." The fierce man with the bright orange eyes answered.  
  
Another man with straight white hair and light colored garb, except for the jet-black chain around his neck, appeared from behind an odd assortment of shrubbery.  
  
"The crowd is anxious, Prospero," the orange-eyed man informed the newcomer.  
  
"I want to wait for the others. I think it will be more fun if we took them all out at once," the white-haired man decided.  
  
A small… er… child, and what looked like a coffee machine in a green dog suit, approached the two men.  
  
"Hey, Rega Monu!"  
  
"Do you need something?" Prospero asked.  
  
"Edward wants to help Rega Monu with total annihilation!" the child said.  
  
"And what about…"  
  
"I will lend my service in exchange for Tacos!" the strange robot in the dog suit screamed.  
  
"Actually, that's not a bad idea, Corcian," Prospero said. "If we tear the Gundams to shrapnel, then this is going to be a short battle. It might be more entertaining to let Radical Edward and Gir fight."  
  
Corcian agreed, "That could prove to be very entertaining."  
  
A broad-shouldered man with a hammer approached the three.  
  
"The Gundams are here," the man named Traen pointed to a group of lost looking individuals.  
  
"Wonderful," Prospero said surveying the crowd. "Who's left?"  
  
Corcian went through a quick overview. "The Dragon Ball crew has wiped out most of the weaker links. They wouldn't have been any fun, anyway. That leaves them, the Gundams, Samurai Jack, Spike and Jet, and Bob the tomato. Of course, there's also Radical Edward and Gir who defected to our side."  
  
"Wonderful," Prospero said again. "Let's get started."  
  
Part III-Getting Started  
  
"This is ridiculous," Heero said amongst the group who had survived. "I don't want to be here, I should be ridding the galaxy of OZ."  
  
"You only want to sit at home and watch teletubbies, liar," Wu Fei answered with contempt.  
  
"So who's our first victim?" Duo tried to cover up his terror with bravado.  
  
Just then the man named Corcian walked forward.  
  
"Hello all, aren't you such odd little children?" Corcian smirked.  
  
"Children? Just who do you think you are?" Responded Duo.  
  
"Who are we? We are bored and stronger than you are."  
  
"Why don't we settle this now?" Duo put up his fists.  
  
Corcian looked at Duo and went into fighting stance. "If you really want to. You're just going to humiliate yourself."  
  
"Hey hey hey!" A voice from behind yelled. "Save some for Edward!"  
  
"That's right," Corcian said, righting himself. "You'll fight the girl. If you survive, then you can try me."  
  
"You're all so weak!" Wu Fei screamed, jumping up and down like a fool.  
  
"Shut up," Duo and Heero retorted synonymously.  
  
"Ooh, intense Gundams," Edward observed solemnly.  
  
While the Gundams prepared their MOBIL suits to combat Edward, the Dragon Ball crowd and the remaining fighters prepared for their own battle. Prospero and Traen moved through the crowd.  
  
"So, are we all ready fight?" Prospero examined Goten and Gohan. "The two of you look reasonably strong. With a little intense training, the two of you could make sturdy kick targets."  
  
"Hey!" Yelled Goten, "I'm a lot stronger and smarter than a kick target!"  
  
"You'll have to prove that before I'll believe it."  
  
"Ka-me… huh?" Goten's concentration was broken when he noticed something odd happening behind him.  
  
"Buu mad!" The pink blob following Corcian taunted.  
  
"Go away, you deranged marshmallow," Corcian retorted over his shoulder.  
  
"Buu going to turn you into graham-cracker, or maybe pizza pie!" Buu squealed.  
  
Corcian stopped. "Is there something you want?"  
  
"Eat you!" Buu wailed.  
  
"That's not going to happen." Replied Corcian. "And if you keep up I'll tear you in half.  
  
"You bad man!" Buu charged towards Corcian.  
  
Corcian swung out of Buu's path and smote him with a wide roundhouse punch. Buu imploded around the punch and fell to the ground.  
  
As Corcian began to walk away, the crumpled mass that had once been Buu began to retake shape. As soon as Corcian was ten yards away, Buu charged again. Just as Buu was about to hit, Corcian turned and struck Buu with a devastating back-fist. As Buu reeled back Corcian charged and connected to his head with a crippling sidekick. Buu hurtled through the air and skidded across the ground with a sickening tearing sound. Buu lay in a heap, contorted in an unnatural fashion and unmoving. The onlookers waited for Buu to inevitably stand once more, but the great beast did not rise again.  
  
"Well, that is impressive," Vegeta observed, crossing his hand across his chest.  
  
"Hey, are we going to fight or what?" Goten raged, leaping towards Prospero.  
  
"Not so fast, quick draw," Prospero exclaimed. "You're not near ready for us. First you have to prove yourself worthy of our time."  
  
Piccolo joined in. "Worthy of you're time? It's you people who dragged us here! What makes you think we'll play your games anyway?"  
  
"It wouldn't be wise to run," Prospero responded. "You see, the Rega Monu have total over Serenity-Mayhem field. We decide who comes in and who goes out. You see, Corcian, Traen, and myself are masters of a fighting technique called audio-kinetics. We manipulate sound and are capable of focusing sound into incredible, destructive waves."  
  
"What's that have to do with anything?" Goten asked.  
  
"Maybe this will make sense to you," Prospero continued. "When we're expecting company, this field is quite peaceful, hence the name, 'Serenity.' When we wish for our guests to stay a bit longer, we surround the field with a highly charged sonic force with an inward pull. Anyone who would try to flee would be repelled back to earth or torn limb from limb. Hence the other name."  
  
"So I guess we're stuck," Piccolo observed.  
  
"I guess you are," Prospero responded.  
  
"So if we have to fight you to get out of this place then that's what we'll do," Goten went into fighting stance.  
  
"Don't be so eager." Prospero told the young Saijan. "You've still got to prove yourself."  
  
"Then get on with it already!" Vegeta yelled.  
  
"If you Saijans weren't so dense, you could have already faced my fighters," Prospero retorted.  
  
"We'll face you're fighters, and then we'll tear you apart!" Vegeta jeered.  
  
"Very well then," Prospero turned and motioned to two cloaked figures behind him. "Step forth," he commanded.  
  
As the two fighters advanced, Goten noticed something very strange about the shorter cloaked man.  
  
"Hey, it's Trunks!" He announced.  
  
"Hello, Goten, do you want to see how strong I've become?" Trunks asked as he removed his cloak.  
  
"You bet!" Goten responded.  
  
"Okay, here it comes," Trunks replied. Trunks ran towards Goten, gathering a bluish energy around him as he charged.  
  
Goten jumped back and answered Trunks with a bright yellowish blast of his own. The two forces met and Goten's blast was overwhelmed by Trunks' forceful energy shock.  
  
Goten make it to his feet but was unable to launch another attack.  
  
"I'd like to keep fighting, Goten, but now I have to deal with the rest of our friends." Trunks jumped back. "This is going to be the last move I perform on you, Goten. Ka-me-ha ME-HA HAMPSTER CONFUSION!"  
  
Suddenly Goten found himself back inside his hut, brushing his teeth in front of his bathroom mirror.  
  
"What am I doing here?" He thought to himself, brushing his teeth, looking around his bathroom stunned.  
  
Suddenly, a great blue furry beast roughly the size of a couch burst down the bathroom door. Goten tried to scream, but was unable to remove his toothbrush from his mouth.  
  
"How am I supposed to defend myself when I can't take my arm out of my mouth?" Goten tried to say with a mouth full of toothpaste. Goten struggled to bite through his toothbrush as the giant hamster beast tackled him.  
  
"Why is Goten rolling around on the ground?" Piccolo asked as he watched the young Saijan writhe around on the ground.  
  
"And why is he trying to eat his hand?" Krullin asked, who had just come over to watch the battle.  
  
"He's gone mad!" Vegeta remarked.  
  
"Okay, that was kind of boring," Trunks admitted sadly. "Whose next?"  
  
Part IV- Wrong Place, Wrong Time  
  
Krullin and Piccolo had failed miserably against Trunks.  
  
"This is impossible!" Vegeta yelled, "Let's all rush him and end this!"  
  
"Vegeta!" Goku said aghast, "That's your son you're talking about!"  
  
For the first time the second cloaked man spoke. "Don't worry, Trunks. I'll take care of your father, Gohan and Goku. My long range fighting style gives me a strategic advantage over multiple threats. Not that I consider these weaklings threats."  
  
With those words, the figure threw off his cloak and revealed himself as a slender boy with odd brown bangs and a synthetic arm. As he stepped towards Vegeta, his mechanical arm began to glow in a ghastly white. No sooner could the Saijan prince move than he was on the ground motionless.  
  
"He's just stunned," claimed the new warrior. "There's no point in finishing off a disabled adversary."  
  
"You'll find I'm not as benign as my hot-tempered friend," said Goku as he powered up. "Wow, I think that's the biggest word I've ever used," Goku paused in marvel of himself.  
  
"Stupid creature," responded the new warrior. The man with the mechanical arm targeted his white blast again, but the explosion met thin air, as Goku was already far out of range.  
  
"Trowa, watch out!" Trunks yelled to the new warrior.  
  
"Wha?" Uttered Trowa in horror as Goku collided into his back.  
  
Trowa went flying through the air, and Goku prepared for a counter attack, but Goku received none.  
  
"He was a new recruit," Trunks explained. "Not formidable at all, but we had no time. You'll be happy to find I'll pose more of a challenge."  
  
"Bring it on," challenged Goku.  
  
Trunks and Goku met in midair, fists flying and energy raging, neither fighter backing off.  
  
"You're incredibly strong," admitted Goku. "If it weren't for your tiny body, I probably wouldn't be able to defend against you."  
  
It took a while for trunks to ingest these words. "Tiny… body?"  
  
Trunks became enraged and flew about the sky madly. When he finally stopped in front of Goku, he rose his hands into the air and began to shake violently. Before Goku knew what was happening, a pair of enormous, lucid hands engulfed him. Goku struggled against their might, but as he struggled the hands altered their shape, and began to harden. Slowly the radiant vice of energy became rigid. Goku plummeted to the ground, engulfed in a crystal prison, no longer able to resist.  
  
"You're mine!" Gohan screamed.  
  
Gohan rushed Trunks in a savage head-on attack, but he stopped abruptly in midair before reaching Trunks.  
  
"What's happening to me?" Gohan shrieked as his body convulsed violently in midair.  
  
"The psychic overflow from my continuing assault on your brother has created an energy field around my body," Trunks explained.  
  
"In that case, I'll just have to send you into orbit," Gohan yelled and launched an incredible energy attack against Trunks. Unfortunately, the blast backfired and launched Gohan into the ground with an incredible destructive force, rendering him unconscious, and making Trunks the first Saijan warrior ever to start and finish a battle in the same millennium.  
  
"Is anyone else willing to fight?" Trunks asked.  
  
"We'll take you on," a voice from behind roared.  
  
Trunks turned to see Bob the Tomato and the remaining survivors staring him down.  
  
"Okay," Trunks agreed. "I'll take you all on."  
  
Samurai Jack ran towards Trunks, flashing his blade.  
  
"All right," said Trunks. "You want this to be a sword fight? You've got a sword fight."  
  
With that, Trunks drew forth a blazing beam of energy, which transformed into a brilliant blade of light. Trunks met the samurai's swing, wielding through his blade and smiting him across the face.  
  
"I've had worse than this, I assure you," announced the samurai, wiping his face with his palm.  
  
"You don't know the half of it," assured Trunks.  
  
"What's this?" The swordsman felt his face again; finding the laceration replaced with a rapidly spreading rubbery substance.  
  
Soon the warrior from another time was completely replaced with thick, waxy matter. He turned towards the members of Bebop.  
  
"Oh, this is just great," moaned Jet. "It's bad enough we're all getting killed, another one's gone over to their side."  
  
"I'll handle him," said Spike coolly.  
  
The two rushed the samurai, who discarded his sword for the sake of fair play.  
  
"This is the right way to use a mechanical arm!" Yelled Jet as he aimed a large metal fist at the swordsman.  
  
No sooner had he swung than he found himself on the ground.  
  
"Hey, you're stealing my moves," accused Spike.  
  
The two met hand to hand, but Spike was insufficient at dealing with raw power possessed by someone of his same skill level. Spike attempted to apply a chokehold on the samurai but wound up receiving a vicious knee to the head.  
  
After the waxen warrior had devastated Spike, he turned towards Bob the Tomato.  
  
"Um, I'm going to have to consult Querty before I agree to this," Bob quivered as he backed away.  
  
"You're not alone, Bob. Together we can win this!" A small child shouted encouragingly from behind the tomato.  
  
"Who are you?" Bob asked in confusion.  
  
"I'm a little kid from Digimon!" The child announced.  
  
"And how exactly do you propose we win this?" Bob asked.  
  
"Um, well, I'm not sure if this is going to work," the child replied. But I'm going to try at anyway. Here goes nothing. Digimon, Digivolve!"  
  
At first Bob was unaffected. But after a short while, the tomato began to grow. The fleshy texture of his ripe skin became thick and solid, and muscular looking vines sprouted from his body.  
  
The two collided with incredible force. The samurai tried to outmaneuver the fierce vegetable, but could not contend with its incredible strength. Soon the samurai found himself in the monster's fierce tendrils, crushing his very essence.  
  
"Yay, we won, Bob…" the child shouted to the mutant vegetable as the red mass began to quiver and expand.  
  
Before the child could run, he was engulfed in a massive wave of pasty tomato goo as Bob detonated. No more fighters remained to challenge Trunks.  
  
Part V-Twist  
  
"We're ready for you chumps!" Duo shouted eagerly. "Just let me get my Gundam ready and we'll annihilate you."  
  
"Gundams? Who said you three would be fighting Ed and Gir in Gundams?" Prospero asked.  
  
"What? I thought we agreed to a mecha battle!" Wu fei became enraged.  
  
"Mecha? No," answered Prospero. "You misunderstood me. You're going to have a mocha battle."  
  
"What?" Duo asked confused.  
  
"It's quite simple really. Instead of mecha combat or hand-to-hand fighting, the five of you are going to participate in a mocha battle," explained Prospero. "It's very easy. You fight by manipulating coffee cups, double mocha ginger expressos, to be precise. The only catch is you can't make physical contact with your own mocha or any of the other competitors."  
  
"Are you insane?" Raged Duo. "We can't do that. How are we even supposed to…" He stopped short and turned around. "Wu Fei, what are you doing?"  
  
"Nataku, assist me in annihilating these fiends…" Wu Fei knelt over his coffee.  
  
"You're all insane!" Duo moaned.  
  
Heero just grunted.  
  
Ed stepped over her coffee and enveloped herself in intense concentration. She began babbling in an odd intonation, "Come on, coffee cup, great spirit of mocha, show us your mighty powers."  
  
Gir mimicked Ed, "Whhhooo-OOOO!" Ed screamed himself hoarse and began running inanely around the field, "Elf power cookie dough! Elf power cookie dough!" He yelled repeatedly as he ran.  
  
"We might be here for a while," Duo observed.  
  
"Fanatic pretzel attack!" Gir yelled. Then the Gundams became doughy blobs of nothingness.  
  
"You owe me some tacos," Gir told Prospero.  
  
The End of Serenity Mayhem  
  
* * *  
  
Yeah, it wouldn't except any reviews, even after I told it to. So I uploaded it again. If it still doesn't let you review this, AIM me at GreyCrane5 to tell me what you think or to tell me what I'm doing wrong. My next fic'll be up soon. If you didn't like the original characters or all the other anime people, you'll like the next one a lot better. 


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